My essay introduction / possible pile of crap. Can anyone please point me vaguely in the right direction?

its too busy at the start too many big formal words that made me think wtf is this all about. try to simplify it dont aut the listeners with a barrage off formality ease your way into it imagine you are talking to your best friend.Dont ramble stick to the main topic which is love and the different ways people percieve to love .I really like the second paragraph so I would keep that as it is,I think it leads nicely to the last summing up and it makes me want to read the essay in question.I tottally get what your trying to say but feel you could be a little more light hearted because love and all its different facets is still the most wonderful emotion in the world. this is just my personal opinion hope it helped in a small way